Open Post: Hosted By The 3 Second Rule


Open Post: Hosted By The 3 Second Rule

Friday, April 20th 2012

Open Post: Hosted By The 3 Second Rule

Because one of my dog's teefs chose today to fuck with him, I had to take him to the doggy dentist to get it pulled out (that's what he gets for smoking meth) and so I'm getting a later start than usual. ("Bitch, don't blame it on the dog. We all know you're starting late, because you spent your 4/20 morning hot boxing in the bathroom to open the pores in your brain." - you) While I get my shit together, get into the gracefully beautiful Texas flower Lisa Gail using her natural auto-tune-free "hound dog with a nasal infection getting circumcised with a rusty screwdriver" voice to school us on the 3 second rule. You'll want to use the 219 second rule while watching this glorious musical masterpiece.

Some people are calling Lisa Gail a Real Housewife from Rebecca Blackville, but this blossom sprouted form the garden of Linda Hogan does it so much better. Did Rebecca Black have back-up singers that sound like a deaf cat orgy? No. Did Rebecca Black's video provide you with several servings of denim camel toe? No. Did Rebecca Black decorate her eyes with a wide tip black marker? No. Did Rebecca Black have dancers that moved like they were trying hard to not break down into shameful tears over agreeing to do this shit? No. This has all of that and more!

And I even had to use the 3 second rule several times while watching this. I mean, Lisa Gail's beauty and talent is so potent that you can only take it 3 seconds at a time.

via Jezebel (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)

Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrity-magazine/open-post-hosted-by-the-3-second-rule/

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Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell


Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell

Friday, April 20th 2012

Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell

Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell

When your stiff-as-a-concrete-erection acting skills in Valentine's Day made Taylor Lautner look like an organic human creature who is capable of producing natural emotions in front of a camera, you should quit the acting shit while you're not ahead and stick to what you're good at: goat yodeling, bearding and training hos to look really surprised at their own surprise parties. Taylor Swift isn't taking my advice, because Variety (via HuffPo) is hearing that she's talking to the producers of Girls Like Us to play Joni Mitchell in the movie. Yeah, so now you know why you saw Joni Mitchell at the coffin store asking the salesperson which one is best for rolling in.

Girls Like Us is based on a book by the same name is about Joni Mitchell, Carole King and Carly Simon in the 60s through the 70s. The producers at looking at Alison Pill as a possibility to play Carole King. CDAN said a couple of months ago that Taylor was going to play Joni, but Variety says this is only an idea and the producers haven't passed her a contract to sign yet. That means there's still time to stop this disaster from happening! It's not too late. I've looked at this from both sides now and both sides are screaming out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

First, there's a rumor that RiRi's going to play Whitney Houston

Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrity-magazine/taylor-swift-might-play-joni-mitchell/

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Dennis Rodman -- FINALLY DIVORCED

Dennis Rodman is officially a single man -- finally agreeing to sign his wife's divorce papers after battling her for 8 years.Michelle Rodman initially filed for divorce in 2004 -- then filed again in 2012 after a failed attempt at a reconciliation.…

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Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/20/dennis-rodman-divorced/

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Brendan Fraser -- 'Encino Man' Is Almost Old Enough to Drink

"Encino Man" isn't the only old dude around anymore -- Brendan Fraser reminded us he starred in that movie 20 long years ago ... which means we've all tacked on 2 more decades! Bummer.Check out TMZ on TV -- click here to see your local listings!

Source: http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/20/brendan-fraser-encino-man-video-tmz-on-tv/

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